As of yesterday, I’m wearing a new hat, proverbially speaking.
It is somewhat true, that if one thinks positively blah blah blah… No, in a case like this I will get away with believing this truth to be self evident, despite what personal history tells me.
My new hat consists of a great deal of wider-thinking. That is to say, mein weltanschauung has broadened: not by geography, religion or politics, but by the personal outlook of another. And, of course, outlook determines reality.
Or, put simply, I am in love. No, no, no: did I really just type that? Yes I did, but it is only a half truth. But yes, my outlook has been influenced by the fairer sex. You see, like most of us, I want (not need) somebody to share my world, to share my innermost thoughts and know my most intimate details. And I firmly believe that I have met that somebody.
It may have been prudent for me to have said, from the outset and for the benefit of our readership, that I do not believe in Romance. My inamorata is an amazing woman, but I wont be gushing-over with an overload of literary sentiment on these pages. Rest in the knowledge that my words are marked in sound judgement, and that I am notafflicted with the fanciful and unrealistic malaise called Romantic Love.
That aside, can I ask if you’ve ever met anybody that just gets you, someone whose opinions matter to you more than the words of your worried mother, dismayed priest or disappointed school teachers?
Are you the sort of person who staggers blindly towards the mirage of longed-for love, or, like me, usually skip lightly, skirting around the issue of amour?
Am I now willing to plunge headlong into sharing my world with another? Yes.
You see, my world-view now has an additional person to consider. My life, at the risk of sounding schmaltzy, now has new focus and additional meaning. For someone like me, used to thinking solely of myself, this is a very new chapter in my book. But, I am not projecting, as my therapist would suggest. I’m merely exploring the notion of being in a relationship.
There, it is written, I cannot take these words away.
This has proven to be far more difficult to write than I initially thought it would.